Transformed

I was inspired by one of my friend's blogs about life and sacrificing for Christ. As many of you know, we made a decision to leave a very secure/wonderful life to serve Jesus in full-time missions. Well, it didn't turn out the way we thought and here I am with these thoughts...

I've never been one to "keep up with the Joneses". In fact, I do know some of my limitations :) I am not a great housekeeper or cook, I lose things from time to time, I do not always walk out of the house with the best clothes or with makeup on, I do not always get thank you notes out on time, I do not make gift bags for my children's birthday parties, I do not usually iron my kids/husbands clothes, etc...etc..etc... TRUST ME there is much more...

To be honest, where I am in my life right now is not really where I thought I would be. I thought I would have my own house, a great job, and be financially secure in the world's eyes. I thought I would be that "perfect" mom, neighbor, family member, daughter-in-law, friend, etc... You know the one that always sends gifts, has parties, bakes, and looks good doing it :) Well, I am not perfect, in fact, I am far from it, but I have learned something very special in this time in my life, "HIS power is made perfect in MY weakness."

Do you ever feel like you don't really "fit" in this world, like your life is on hold and you are an outsider to others? Boy, I sure do! Before this time in my life ever happened, I feared what life would be like w/o money. Now that I have had this time in my life, I no longer FEAR money for I know without a shadow of a doubt He provides everything we need just at the right moment. It might not be as much as I wanted but it is always enough and even more than expected.

You see, I am being transformed...not the way I ever imagined and it is not easy, but it is good! I have hope that maybe someday I'll have my own house, a great job again, more clothes than just 1 pair of jeans that fit and a few t-shirts. That life will someday again feel "somewhat normal".

(the following is a conclusion to my thoughts written by a friend...I could write it in my own words, but it would not be quite as good...)

When or if that day ever happens...I’ll never be who I used to be. I’ll enjoy the same things as I used to eventually, but it will never be the same. I’ll enjoy them differently…in a different light. Praise G0D!! I’m being transformed, and sometimes it scares me. Who am I turning into? I found comfort in what I used to value.
“…The L0RD gave me what I had, and the L0RD has taken it away. Praise the name of the L0RD!” Job 1:21.

I’m learning that as G0D strips me of who I used to be, he replaces it with an unfailing trust in Him. My prayer is that G0D will teach my children in this season through the example of their parents. That somehow they will see this season (although it is not always fun and their parents are by no means perfect) as an example of our invitation to suffer with Christ and the joy and blessings that come from it.